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A Beautiful Message

I recently received a mid-year review message from an organization that I’m a part of and found the message to be a beautiful example of member messaging. So much so, that I wanted to share it with you all. Thankfully, I’ve been given permission to do so (thank you madam President.) Please see that message below and then I’ll discuss what’s so great about it.

Kenjie, We Accomplished This Because of YOU!

Dear Kenjie,

As we say goodbye to 2018 and begin looking forward to the second half of our fiscal year, we’d like to take a moment to say THANK YOU for your commitment to ULGA-YP. We are honored to have a hand in impacting the lives of so many people in our community! With your help, we have provided a place for young professionals to develop and expand their network. With your help, we serve as a resource for Urban League community programs and the youth of Atlanta.

Here’s a quick look at the first half of our fiscal year!

  • 3,000+ Hours Served

  • 3,000+ Students Served

  • 1,000+ Social and Networking Event Attendees

  • 800+ YP University Viewers

  • 400+ Educational Program Attendees

  • 60+ New Members

  • 30+ Programs & Events

  • 25+ Partnerships

  • 10+ Sponsorships

  • 5+ Affiliate Community Programs Supported

We can’t thank you enough for being a part of our family. Please consider continuing to

support the work of ULGA-YP in the following ways:

  • Donate to ULGA-YP Here

  • Become A YP Ambassador: Recruit New Members Or Host A Fundraiser

  • Become A YPeer

  • Join A Committee

  • Join Us At A YP Event

  • Help Us Improve Your YP Experience By Taking Our Mid- Year Survey

Your support empowers us to transform lives. We look forward to our continued partnership in 2019!

Shalondan Hollingshed


Urban League of Greater Atlanta Young Professionals

Ok, so here’s what so great about this message:

  • First, the message is personalized. My name is used in both the subject line and the beginning of the message. Research has shown that email personalization significantly increases open rates over non-personalized messages. Only use the first name though. Using a person’s full name feels more mechanical and less personable. (You don’t address individuals you have a relationship with by their full name, do you?)

  • The subject line is captivating! It made you want to know “what was accomplished?” and “how did I help?”

  • The subject line, in just a few words, does an excellent job in capturing the theme of the message (which I will get into later.)

  • The President THANKS ME for helping the organization to make such a huge impact on the community (highlighting the emphasis that is placed in the message). A simple thankyou still goes a long way in making a person feel welcome and appreciated. It is a lost art that should be employed more often.

  • Our impact is quantified! It is more effective to put data behind your impact instead of speaking in vague statements. It is equivalent to “putting your money your mouth is” as it is a more honest and credible way of stating your impact.

  • The Call-to-Action – the ask is made for me to continue my service to the organization and a host of opportunities are provided to choose from. (Note: there were links in this section, but we removed them for security purposes.) You don’t have to provide as many opportunities as there are in this letter, but you should always provide some call-to-action in your messages to keep your members engaged.

  • The Theme - This message does an excellent job of tying my membership and involvement to mission success. This is perhaps the most important theme that I promote in membership communications and is the most powerful element of the message.

While I am in high praise of this message, there are a few things that I would suggest that can strengthen it:

  • State the mission. Not everyone knows your mission or can grab the mission from the context clues laid out in a message. Plus the more you state your mission, the more individuals will know it.

  • Share a real story that will draw a line between a person’s membership and community impact.

Do you agree with the elements that make this an excellent member message? Are there any that I missed? If so, please share.

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